


balance

by magicianprince



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, commission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicianprince/pseuds/magicianprince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You look strange without a sketchbook," he observes.</p>
<p>It makes sense, Haru supposes. Makoto's never seen him in the water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	balance

**Author's Note:**

> i used to have trouble writing anything longer than 800 words and i don't know how because keeping this within the word limit was very difficult, haha.
> 
> commission for anonymous

On Saturday, Haru asks Nagisa to sit still.

Haru's never asked Nagisa to sit still, in the entire time that they've known each other; he's occasionally wished for it, sure, but this is the first time that the words actually leave his mouth. He's never been good at expressing himself verbally, but Nagisa accepts him easily, and so Haru accepts, in turn, that Nagisa lives in a constant state of movement. He's never had to look far in order to find a subject for gesture drawings.

Today, however, he asks. He should have expected the surprised look that Nagisa gives him.

"What? Why? Am I bothering you?"

"No," says Haru. He glances down at the sketchbook in his hands. "I need to draw you."

It's only after he's said it that he notices that Nagisa's already placed his laptop back into its bag. They'd started out each working on schoolwork in the library and then moved outside, to one of the picnic tables in the center of campus--the weather had been nice enough for a fall day that Haru had given in to Nagisa's insistence to move outside after only one try.

"Haru-chan wants to _draw_ me?" Nagisa gasps, clearly delighted, although Haru can't guess why. "Oh, but...I really should go finish this paper, it's due soon and I think I'm only halfway done, I mean, I have all the research and everything, but--"

"It's fine," Haru says. He can always ask someone else, even if the thought doesn't appeal to him. University is about expanding your horizons, right?

Nagisa doesn't seem to want to let it go. "I should have finished the paper earlier," he mourns. "Since when do you draw people?"

"My instructor said that she wanted to see some variety from me," Haru mutters. He can't find it within himself to blame her. Every three weeks, each student is required to turn in around five pages of gestures, a page of thumbnails, and a few extra pages with sketches of their choice. It'd been the same in his first year of university, but even back then, he hadn't turned in many drawings of an actual person's likeness beyond featureless gestures. His assignments that require stories and characters usually involve animals.

"Hmm," Nagisa hums. "Well, I could always sit for a little while, you know, since you obviously need my help..."

"Nagisa, go work on your paper," Haru says. If Nagisa doesn't start now, he'll probably lose motivation and end up saving it for tomorrow. 

"Okay, okay, you're right. Do you have anyone else in mind to ask?"

Haru frowns down at his sketchbook. The blank page reminds him faintly of the anticipation he feels while standing on a diving board, overlooking the glimmering expanse of a pool. Not quite the same--Haru would rather be swimming.

"Okay! Then, as an apology for not being able to escape from paper writing, I'll set you up with someone!"

This strikes Haru as either a very good idea or a very bad idea. With Nagisa, he never knows. "Nagisa..."

"Don't worry, don't worry! I've got the perfect person in mind. You'll like him, he's not loud or anything. Hang on, I'll call him, just wait!"

Nagisa whips out his cell phone, and just like that, Haru knows his fate is sealed. Once Nagisa has an idea in mind, he isn't usually keen on letting anything get in his way.

:

Ten minutes later, a stranger with brown hair and eyes a shade of green that Haru is particularly fond of settles down across the table from him, phone in hand.

"Hi, Mako-chan!" Nagisa greets him familiarly. Haru wonders how long they've actually known each other. Nagisa's been calling him Haru-chan almost since the day they met.

The stranger doesn't show any reaction to the way Nagisa calls him, so he must be used to it already. "Hi, Nagisa. Who's this?"

"This is Haru-chan," Nagisa announces proudly. "He needs someone to draw, so can you sit with him for a while?"

"Drawing? Well, I don't have anything to do right now, so I think I can manage that," Nagisa's friend says, sounding amused. He looks over at Haru. "But, I mean, are you sure you want to draw me...? Wouldn't it be better to draw someone more..."

"You're fine," Haru says, maybe a little rudely. He hopes not. Nagisa chirps his goodbyes to both of them and leaves, seeming a bit too pleased with himself. Haru ignores it for now.

"My name's Tachibana Makoto, by the way," offers Nagisa's friend.

So he has a girly name, too. That might have been the reason that Nagisa had started talking with him in the first place. "Nanase Haruka."

"It's nice to meet you, Nanase-san," Makoto says, and then gives him an embarrassed smile. "So should I...?"

"Just sit any way you like," Haru replies, trailing his gaze over Makoto's eyes and nose and hair and sheepish grin. Haru might not love illustration in the same way that he loves being in a body of water, but there's value in this, too. "I can tell you how to adjust if I need to."

"Right here is fine?"

"I can draw anywhere."

Makoto stands up, looking for somewhere better to sit. He finally situates himself on top of the table, legs so long that the tips of his feet touch the ground, and then leans back onto his hands. "Is this good enough?"

"Turn towards me a little, and look at me," Haru instructs. Makoto does, and his position becomes more natural, as if he's looking over at Haru so that he can share a conversation.

Haru starts drawing, glancing back up at his subject whenever he needs a reference. Makoto watches him patiently--Haru spends some extra time sketching in the folds of Makoto's long-sleeved shirt. Somehow, no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to get Makoto's smile exactly right.

:

He sketches Makoto in several poses; his teacher will probably be happy. Haru flips through his sketchbook and realizes that he'd actually _enjoyed_ drawing Makoto.

"Thank you," he says, meeting Makoto's eyes once he's sure that he's satisfied with his work. The due date for these pages isn't until two weeks, but Haru likes to start working early so that he can draw at his own pace.

Makoto's smile becomes less awkward and more cheerful. He rolls his shoulders, easing some tension from them, and stands. "It was no trouble, Nanase-san. I'm glad I could help."

Haru's not certain of what comes after this. He closes his sketchbook. "Just call me Haru," he says. He's not sure why.

:

He works on drawing thumbnails while he's eating lunch in the cafeteria the next day. Before Haru had graduated high school, he hadn't done many of them, but now he thinks they're useful. He's done a two-by-four for this page so far. The composition doesn't look right, but that's why he's supposed to draw thumbnails in the first place: he'll keep on sketching, until he finds one that looks good enough to use for a bigger piece.

Someone sits down across from him. Haru doesn't look up. Eventually, he puts his pencil down and reaches for his drink. 

"Nanase-san--um, I mean--Haru, right? Is it okay if I sit here?"

Haru looks up. The stranger is Makoto, green eyes smiling. 

"It's fine," Haru says. His name isn't on this table.

"I would have asked before, but you looked really concentrated," Makoto continues apologetically.

"It's fine," Haru repeats. The two of them eat in silence for the next few minutes until Makoto speaks up again:

"So, how long have you been illustrating?"

It's a question that Haru's been asked before, and so the answer comes easily. "There wasn't really a starting point." Just like swimming.

"I'm awful at drawing," Makoto says. He laughs sheepishly. "I'm alright at photography, though, which is why I'm here."

"I swim, too," Haru tells him, if only because Makoto should know right off that he isn't like a lot of other students here, hasn't devoted his life to art in the way that they have.

Makoto smiles. "Oh, I have a friend who swims! His name is Rin. He's working on getting to the Olympics, actually. It's really impressive."

_Another girly name_ , Haru thinks, but can't decide on anything worth saying aloud. The conversation trails off there. Haru is inexplicably frustrated at himself for not being able to keep up. 

:

Makoto starts sitting with him whenever they both happen to be in the cafeteria at the same time. Haru values his solitude highly, but Makoto doesn't demand anything from him. He doesn't mind if Haru simply nods to what he's saying. If Haru's in the middle of working, he stays silent.

It's nice.

On Friday, Haru puts away his sketchbook and pulls out a regular notebook instead. Makoto watches curiously as Haru begins outlining his next paper.

"You look strange without a sketchbook," he observes.

It makes sense, Haru supposes. Makoto's never seen him in the water.

:

"Haru," Makoto says, "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I have a huge favor to ask...will you hear me out?"

A camera is clutched in one of Makoto's large hands. Haru had been drawing, but he pauses despite being a little irritated. He hates being interrupted. But he doesn't dislike Makoto, and so the feeling fades quickly enough.

"Yes."

Makoto settles down beside him heavily. They're seated at the same picnic table where they'd first met, but Nagisa is absent this time. He's been busy pestering another freshman for the past few days--Rei, Haru thinks he was called. He only remembers because it's the third guy he's heard of with a girly name within the past month.

"Today, Rin was going to visit, and I was going to take pictures of him. I'm cutting it a little close to my deadline, but Rin really wanted to help me out, I think, and this was the only day he could get away from training. Anyway, something came up with his mom, and...he can't come," Makoto says, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. He's clearly concerned, but presses on. "So, can I take photos of you instead? It's alright if you're too busy," he adds hurriedly.

Haru thinks about it. Normally, he can't stand being photographed, but he realizes that he wants to help. Makoto is a good friend. He's not sure if Makoto thinks of him as that, but it doesn't affect his decision. "Just let me finish this sketch," he replies, bending back over his work.

"Thank you, thank you so much, Haru," says Makoto, relieved. He doesn't speak again until Haru has flipped the cover of his sketchbook shut. "Um, so I had someplace in mind for taking pictures of Rin, but..let's start in a place where you feel most comfortable."

Part of the reason that Haru had even considered this university was because it had a gym, and because that gym had a pool. The pool is the first location that pops into his mind. 

Makoto waits patiently.

"Let's swim," Haru says. 

It doesn't quite come out like he means it to, but after a moment, Makoto nods, even if he does seem a bit bemused. "I don't have a swimsuit, though..."

"You're taking pictures, right?"

"Oh! You mean...right, you did say that you swam."

"Is the pool no good?" Haru asks. Either way, he'll probably still go. Now that he's thought of it, the pull is almost tangible.

"It's fine," Makoto assures him. Haru feels his own mouth twitch into a smile. 

:

Swimming is indescribable; it's something that Haru's tried to convey in his art before, but nothing he draws ever seems to perfectly replicate the feeling. He swims laps over and over until he remembers that he's supposed to be letting Makoto take pictures. Finally surfacing, he shakes the water from his hair, and leisurely makes his way towards where Makoto is squatting by the edge of the pool. He places his arms over the concrete side, holding himself up.

"You know, I was really surprised when you waltzed right in and started taking your clothes off. Everyone else in here seemed used to it, though," Makoto informs him once he's certain that Haru's within hearing range. "I got a few pictures of you swimming, but..." He shakes his head, grinning slightly. "I think maybe it's the type of thing you need to see in person to get the full impact of." 

The two of them are the only students using the pool. Earlier, there were more, but it's the time of day when most people are eating lunch. Feeling peaceful, Haru rolls over and begins floating on his back. The water feels as nice as ever. 

Hearing the soft click of the camera shutter, Haru allows his head to loll to the side. Makoto snaps another picture and then stops.

"Is this okay?"

Haru takes a deep breath and then exhales it slowly. "Yeah."

"You look so peaceful, it almost makes me want to swim," Makoto says, letting out a quiet laugh.

"Then swim," murmurs Haru. There's not a lot to it.

Makoto is silent, but he keeps taking pictures.

:

The next day, it rains. Makoto arrives at their usual table in the cafeteria with damp clothing and an apparent lack of an umbrella. Haru eyes the dripping ends of his hair with interest keener than he usually shows.

"Thank you for letting me take your picture, Haru," says Makoto. His smile hasn't been nervous for a while now, but today the awkwardness is back, and Haru allows his stare to linger for a moment longer, trying to determine its cause. "I only got one of you actually looking at the camera, but there were some really nice shots." 

He laughs, and Haru turns his head away. He's never liked looking at the camera when having his picture taken. He hadn't thought to tell Makoto that yesterday, though.

"The one where you were looking was the best one, I think," Makoto murmurs. 

Makoto's tone is always warm, but there's something--warmer, if that's possible, when he says it. Haru feels like he's missing an unspoken cue. "...I'm glad I could help."

"Thank you," Makoto says again, just as sincere as the first time. 

From there, the conversation comes to a halt. Haru starts working on his sketch again. He can feel's Makoto's eyes across from him, watching him work. Normally, he feels irritated if someone watches him draw without asking, but he knows that Makoto isn't looking at him in order to judge--he simply looks for the sake of looking.

Makoto waits until Haru pauses in order to take a sip from his drink to speak again: "Um, Haru."

"Yes?"

"There's something I wanted to tell you."

Haru glances up, nodding slightly to convey that he's listening. Makoto's voice is still warm and hushed.

"I really like you," Makoto says all at once, in a great whoosh of breath as if releasing a heavy weight. "I'm sorry for saying it so suddenly, but..." Haru must have an odd expression on his face, because Makoto peeks at him and then seems to deflate. "Um, forget it. I just felt like saying it," he finishes, shaking his head wryly.

There's a warm feeling in Haru's stomach. He gazes down at the sketchbook on the table in front of him without a word, trailing his eyes over steady lines and subtle shading. When he looks back up, he sucks in a breath.

Makoto is looking at him with an expression full of so much open emotion that it makes Haru want to see himself, to see if he's really deserving of a face like that. Haru wishes he could be that open; he wishes he could explain to Makoto that the overly pleasant, warm feeling in his gut won't seem to go away no matter how many deep breaths he takes. He wishes he even knew where to start. Instead, he picks up his pencil and turns to a blank page in his sketchbook.

"Can I draw you?" he asks, glancing up and meeting Makoto's eyes. 

He wants to save Makoto's expression. He wants to be able to remember it, just in case he says something wrong, and Makoto decides that he must have been crazy to tell Haru that he liked him. To ask to draw Makoto right now has to be the wrong thing to say. It has to be, but Makoto is nodding his consent as if he wouldn't dream of giving any other reply.

Makoto sits quietly while Haru draws him, but the emotion on his face doesn't fade. Haru wonders if he's trying to get himself under control, like Haru is. Haru ends up not giving him a straightforward answer. After the two of them are done eating, Makoto stands up and bids him farewell as if nothing happened. 

Haru goes to the pool.

:

Moments between them start to feel more intimate. Haru forgets that they're in public sometimes, that there are people with their own lives and own worries and own feelings outside of the pair of them. Nagisa gives both Haru and Makoto knowing looks whenever the three of them happen to be together. Haru wants to get angry about it, but can't find it within himself. He's too full of that warm feeling Makoto passed on to him at the cafeteria.

He still hasn't given Makoto his reply.

Knowing what he wants to say isn't the same as knowing how he wants to say it. It feels as if there's something on the tip of his tongue, especially when Makoto is alone with him and gives Haru that _look_. Haru's hurried sketch from two weeks ago seems useless now. Makoto doesn't even appear to realize that he's being so easy to read. Now that Haru's noticed it once, he can't stop.

The first time Makoto enters Haru's dorm, he blinks. "You have a single?"

"Yeah," Haru says. "I don't think I'd be an easy person to live with." He's been making an effort to explain himself further instead of only giving curt answers. Makoto deserves that, after being so open with him. 

"I don't think that's true," Makoto argues. "Your room doesn't seem messy, and I don't think you'd bother a roommate with unnecessary things."

Haru distracts himself by finding his laptop and moving farther into the room, sitting down on the bed. After hesitating, Makoto joins him, and the way he makes sure to sit a respectable distance away doesn't escape Haru's attention. Haru never meant to make Makoto feel like he had to be careful around him. He's noticed how careful Makoto is around everyone else, and the thought of being added to that list only makes him frown. He shifts until his back rests against the bed's headboard, with his pillow propped up in between.

"Makoto," he calls. His throat feels dry.

Makoto jumps lightly. Haru's left enough space for Makoto's large frame beside him; they'll be sitting so close together that there won't be a single place they won't touch, but Haru's not worried about that. Makoto inhales slowly and then moves closer, bringing his laptop bag with him. They both have papers to work on, which is why Haru invited Makoto to his dorm. Haru doesn't particularly like or dislike writing papers, but it's surprisingly pleasant to work alongside someone else. Maybe it's because it's Makoto. 

Eventually, Haru gets that same feeling from before: that he's missed something important. He saves his work and closes his laptop.

"Haru?"

"You like me, right?" Haru asks.

Makoto curls in on himself instinctively, but in such a small space and with such a big body, it doesn't do much. "Um, yes. I do."

Haru clears his throat. "I...me too."

Makoto sits up straighter.

Feeling flustered, Haru squeezes his fingers tighter around the edges of his laptop. Makoto deserves more than just that one cowardly phrase. When he looks over at Makoto, judging his reaction so far, he's met with brightly flushed cheeks. Makoto's face is awfully close to his, and so Haru turns his eyes towards his lap. 

"I like you too."

Makoto doesn't say anything, simply smiling widely as if he doesn't know what else to do with himself. Haru turns his head back in Makoto's direction. He's never wanted to kiss anybody before, but--Haru leans closer, steadying himself with a hand cupping Makoto's jaw, and eases his mouth over Makoto's gently. 

Against his lips, Makoto is still smiling.

:

Haru's favorite kisses, after weeks of experimentation, are the ones that linger, allowing him the leisure of running his hands wherever he wants. Quick kisses are for when either he or Makoto is leaving and there's no time for anything more. He likes pressing close, feeling Makoto shiver. He's twice as glad that he has a room to himself; it means that he can kiss Makoto as much as he wants, sit Makoto down on the edge of his bed, tug at his clothes until Makoto laughs and obliges him, removing everything until they're skin to skin. He stops laughing when Haru drops to his knees, gasping quietly instead.

"Haru, you don't--"

He meets Makoto's gaze as he curls his hand around Makoto's erection, stroking it slowly and marveling at the way Makoto bites his lip, closing his eyes. Every small, hitched breath makes Haru feel hotter, and it isn't long before he gives in to the temptation to take Makoto's cock into his mouth. Makoto moans as quietly as he can, teeth digging harder into his bottom lip. Haru sucks him off almost lazily, focused on Makoto's reactions. He places his free hand on Makoto's hip, rubbing lightly at the skin there, and makes a soft sound in the back of his throat when Makoto opens his eyes.

Makoto slides his fingers into Haru's hair, brushing it back away from his face. Haru sucks harder until his jaw aches and Makoto's body is quivering.

"Haru, _Haru,_ " Makoto sighs. "I'm close, you can--ah, p-pull back now--"

Haru does, stroking his thumb over the head of Makoto's cock. "Makoto," he murmurs, and that's all it takes for Makoto to come all over Haru's fist, muffling his noises with a hand over his mouth. Haru cleans his hand off using a tissue while Makoto catches his breath, and then settles himself on top of him, straddling Makoto's hips and bending to kiss him insistently.

The first touch of Makoto's hand on his dick has Haru thrusting his hips instinctively in order to get closer. Makoto presses his lips to Haru's neck while he jerks Haru off, starting slow the way Haru likes it and then gradually speeding up. His other hand curves around the bottom of Haru's thigh, keeping him in place. Haru grips Makoto's shoulders and finds Makoto's mouth, kissing him over and over again. Makoto tightens his fingers around Haru's cock.

Haru comes with a drawn out exhale of breath.

After Makoto's cleaned his hand off, Haru sits back for a moment and observes. Makoto has the same facial features as the day Haru first met him, but he's so much _different_ , somehow. Haru supposes that he has Nagisa to thank. That can come later, though.

For now, he lies down, pulling Makoto with him, and claims more kisses.

:

"Haru," Makoto whispers urgently. "Haru!"

Rolling over with an indulgent sigh, Haru peers at Makoto, blinking sleep from his eyes. "Hm...?"

"Haru, this might be a strange question, but...can I take your picture like this?"

He's probably referring to the way that Haru is sprawled out in bed, with only the blanket covering him from the waist down. "Mmph. Yeah," Haru replies. He'll have time to be embarrassed later. 

"Alright," says Makoto happily. A moment later, Haru hears the sound of a photograph being taken.

Smiling, he closes his eyes.


End file.
